The words escape my mind. The patterns and colors flowing through my head are as they once were, but also as I left them.
It’s like being shown a picture of the past, and having everything come back to you. But this time, the picture is of an actual essence, and the past is actually here. People say not to dwell on the past, but what they really mean to do is forget about it, and pretend it’s more like they read it in a book or something. It’s not of actually personal importance, but more the idea of it “has” existed. So what do you do when that book has fallen off the shelf, and is lying open right in your path. Do you pick it up and think about the contents as you put it back on the shelf… or do you dive back in, and make everything that once was, like a story your acting out. These are the questions I ask myself, and are the answers themselves. But not knowing which line up is the problem I am struggling with. Is it still considered reminiscing on the past if the past is thrown back on you? Or if the past never quite got finished? Does the past stay past, even though you want to continue living it? I feel the author side of me creeping up. I see a book that I left unfinished and I feel the need to finish it. But the problem is that in order to finish the past book, I have to stop writing the one I am currently working on… So do I continue?
Or do I pick up the old and finish what I feel I should never have let leave my hands…
